From the category archives:

The Personal Life

Who Cares About Desires and Wants?

Thumbnail image for Who Cares About Desires and Wants?

When you desire something, it is often a private or secret matter and you don’t share it with others. In contrast, wanting something is a much more visible thing because you put will and action into getting it. But maybe I’m just imagining this difference.
Let’s look at desires first. In my experience, there are at [...]

0 comments Read more →

How Do You Tap into Your Desires?

Thumbnail image for How Do You Tap into Your Desires?

We often run into people who regret that our sensuality and desires guide us through life. They tell us we chase after pleasure and are at the mercy of our feelings. They say this leaves us without real values. But, something is not right about this position.
I can think of three reasons we should not [...]

0 comments Read more →

What Are You Doing with Your Desire for Fulfillment?

Thumbnail image for What Are You Doing with Your Desire for Fulfillment?

This past week, a few friends gathered for an evening of conversation about secularism. One friend made the comment that desires for fulfillment is not necessarily better than desires for non-fulfillment. I wonder if this is true.
Think about the contrast between the two:
1: We desire fulfillment. It is definitely true that we pursue the fulfillment [...]

0 comments Read more →

What If You Have Secrets You Don’t Know You Have?

Thumbnail image for What If You Have Secrets You Don’t Know You Have?

It is easy to make a secret about yourself. You just withhold some information and let others know that they cannot easily get to it. You wink, smile and indicate that there are certain tricks that will open your chest of secrets. Like Pandora’s Box.
Playing this game is manipulation. If you are in a [...]

1 comment Read more →

Do You Have Secrets?

Thumbnail image for Do You Have Secrets?

Secrets are fascinating.
They make others interested in you. Personally, when I meet people who cannot stop telling me about themselves, I get bored before I can count to a very low number. They leave nothing for me to figure out. There is no mystery left, and then I simply lose interest.
An even more fascinating [...]

6 comments Read more →

What Is It about the Power of a Shared Interest?

Thumbnail image for What Is It about the Power of a Shared Interest?

It happens in religious groups a lot. It also happens in groups that focus on a certain interest, like photography, golf, or dogs. Unless you can somehow develop interest in whatever people focus on “in there,” you will never really become part of the group.
It is not that they would not hire you. You could [...]

0 comments Read more →

How Serious is this Feeling, “I Don’t Belong”?

Thumbnail image for How Serious is this Feeling, “I Don’t Belong”?

I think we are mostly paranoid about not belonging in social settings. We enter a room, a class, a meeting, a party, an exhibit, or a waiting room. Before any social dynamics have started to develop, we think about ourselves, “I don’t belong with these people.”
Implied in this thought is of course this other thought: “These [...]

0 comments Read more →

What is the Magic Trick of Social Belonging?

Thumbnail image for What is the Magic Trick of Social Belonging?

You know the feeling of being in a group but sensing a certain disconnect. As if you do not really belong. Then you decide to do something about it and start engaging others.
This situation can go one of to ways.
A: Others open up to you and you enter the magic social center of the group. [...]

2 comments Read more →